, Columnist
Why I Hate Pandas and You Should Too
The first test of a species' worthiness for conservation should be some instinct for self-preservation. And pandas fail objectively.
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Congratulations on your new panda cub, Washington! You're prolonging the existence of a hopeless and wasteful species the world should've given up on long ago.
I understand the impulse. Some people find them cute. Pandas don't have much of a habitat left in the wild, thanks to heedless human development. And zoos imagine they're doing the right thing, pulling in some extra visitors while helping conservation efforts.